Monday, March 19, 2007

Liar, or crazy

Remembering a woman I used to be in a casual relationship with, or a non-relationship. It just worked with her sexually, for me sometimes I'd think about fucking her a little too much. She was half black, but before she told me I never assumed anything other than olive skin. Her scent was not particularly erotic, kind of generic shampoo scent, and her hair was kind of bizarre.

She was cute enough, and she was a runner so she had good long toned legs, but she wasn't tall. She was not beautiful, but she had an amazing ass.

My story with her ended a long time ago. We'd never really hooked in a relationship, and not been exclusive. Although she'd mention the men she was drinking with and hanging with she lied expertly and subtly about how they weren't sleeping with her, and that's cool, but she did however maintain the veil of anonymity with regards to the others in her life until one day we were doing our thing - about to fuck, and she drops the bomb.

"I'm 5 days late."

Ok, I'm thinking, I like her, but not sure about what that means. Before I can react she also says.

"I've been sleeping with this other guy"

And I'm thinking, well, I know, why tell me unless it's his. But she continues.

"And I was tested positive for chlamydia but I don't know if I got it from you or him."

She knew we'd always used condoms except that first time we hooked up a year before and the thing broke, I felt the sensation against my bare skin which although felt great was warning enough for me to pull out and re-apply protection. Then there was the time she swallowed, but who knows if she's even protected from this other guy.

Before I know it she's maybe pregnant, has another dude, and got a disease from him. I was tested and found negative, but I took the anti-biotic bomb anyway. Then she goes radio silent for a couple of weeks. We talked on and off regularly, she was like a supportive intelligent friend whom I also fucked on occasion. In the moment I'm thinking she's wanting support but giving me reasons to deny it.


After a few weeks of radio silence she wanted to have lunch. It was a normal lunch, normal, we talked about the same stuff, we flirted, but getting down to it she stopped as we were making out and said she wanted to talk about this other guy she'd been seeing.

She doesn't want a relationship but she feels she had it with me, she finds him stupid as he's 8 years younger. She finds him boring in bed because he doesn't know what he is doing and is selfish. They're not exclusive, and she doesn't like that he hangs around her house too long and they have no conversation because he's dumb. And he's the guy who gave her chlamydia because he sleeps around, and was not the guy who stayed with her during the night of her pregnancy scare - which ended up being false.

Her decision was that because this other guy is a finite thing, as in she's going to end it soon, that she's going to feel safer in the non-relationship with him. Not that I wanted her or anything, I just felt bad being lied to about the deal with this other guy - he's crap but she chose him over me because we had a connection and that scared her.

On top of that after the lunch I paid for that day, she borrowed $40 to get her dry cleaning on the way back. So in short, that day, I got dissed, gave her $40 and lunch, and went to her for the pleasure.

I had a hard time believing anything she said, but basically didn't want to hurt my feelings by making me the loser in a possible relationship choice between me and this other guy. She seemed genuine but really she was not.

This is the sort of woman who used to inhabit my single life.