Friday, April 21, 2006

Amanda's eclipse

The Eclipse is a piece of shit. Everything about it screams plastic and low horsepower, poor steering, blindspots, tacky wheels, rubberband engine, and shitty emissions. Although the State of California hasn't banned them, yeek, I really hate them.

There is one redeeming feature of the Eclipse, hot chicks drive em.

For my faggit friends who read this and beat off, my GF is out of town, out of this zipcode, and unless I'm home alone trying on her underwear, out of my mind for now. She's not clingy, or needy, or dependent most of the time, but really, give her a project to do and she's completely a machine, gone. Fantastic.

So anyway, I pull up to a parking space in the valley at a bank - don't ask me what I was doing out there, and there happens to be a black Eclipse just rolled into the one next to me. Black cars in California make no sense, but, I hate these cars except for the fact that the seats in them get more pussy than I ever have.

I get out of my car, it's warm, so I take off my sweater and throw it back onto the passenger seat. As I stand up also stepping out of her shitbox is a brunette in fashion sunglasses and a white tshirt with the words "you suck because you're a boy". I catch her eye, she looks away and back and I don't budge. She pauses for a second and just as she opens her mouth I say.

"Hey nice car", it was a good lie.

"Thanks", she looked down and scratched her ear.

"Can I ask you a question, nothing too deep?"

"Umm, ok".

"you have a good surgeon, did you go in with a picture of Julia Roberts and ask for her lips?"

They were great lips, and her embarrassed smile was so cute, I was scared my pathetic maleness was about to flub it.

She frowns and seems to reconsider what she was going to say, and blurts out.

"pretty much." The smile changed to something different, like a self satisfied chesure cat grin - still cute as hell.

I turn away from her to walk away and took three steps, but she almost yells across the roof of my car.

"hey, haven't I seen you in that show xxxxxxx?".

I crane my head around and give her my signature smile, the one that got me laid in college and high school, and probably passed me through most of my auditions to make up for the fact that I was a shitty actor at best.

"God, you must have watched that as a baby, how come your parents let you stay up that late?"

I was now diagonally across from her and now I could see her full length over the hood of my car. Her jeans were perfect, her little belly button sat on a raft of tight abs and her tshirt was just the most wonderous version of a little too short.

She giggled, and I laughed.

"I'm Jed, sorry I usually forget to introduce myself, I'm nervous around strangers sometimes." I walked around my car and stood in front of her. I turned and bent over and took a look at the interior of her car and made a positive sounding grunt noise and straightened up but did not directly face her.

"You know, from the show my brother used to make us watch every week, I umm, I feel like I already know you."

"Amanda" Her blue eyes beamed as she said her name and offered her petite hand which I took and continued holding as looked over my shoulder at the bank entrance.

"Perhaps you should get to know me for real Amanda". Turned directly at her, looked her up and down, had some dirty thoughts about licking her belly, and pulled out my phone.

She smiled, and I smiled and started nodding, "I'm really sorry but I have an appointment real soon, you should give me your phone number and we'll get together later".

Still holding her hand like a continued businessman's shake, I entered her number into my phone, and as I leaned over to her side and gave her a quick peck on the left cheek I released her hand and said.

"nice to meet you Amanda, I'll give you a call later but I really have to run."

She asked me if I promised, and I said I did and we parted.

That's it, nothing too titillating, just a nice feeling that I met someone knew I could probably take out my sex addiction with.


Blogger Rubik said...

Nice! It'd be awesome if you post the details of the seduction as it goes, since "the devil is in the details".

11:36 AM  
Blogger Rubik said...

You let your local friends you see every day read this?

Danger, danger! If this blog gets juicy it could leak slowly - one friend tells another, tells another, tells another, etc.

11:48 AM  
Blogger J said...

Just the boys, you know, guys who's heads I've held while theyve puked, who's sister's I have avoided, those who've outlasted every bitch I've ever looked at twice...

12:16 PM  
Blogger industry whore said...

>>There is one redeeming feature of the Eclipse, hot chicks drive em.

Cheesy chicks drive em! Aim higher than Tarzana girls, my friend.

12:36 PM  

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