Friday, April 21, 2006

Amanda 213-xxx-xxxx

A long time ago I went to Vietnam. I am not that old so stop thinking about the war story I could have told, and I have never been in the army. I went there to work. In my late teens and early 20s, sometime between starting and graduating from college I used to model. Yes, blushing me, I have to say that sometimes I retain the vanity. Something about having good bone structure, a 40inch chest, 32 inch waist, and being tall helps. Plus like Warren Zevon claimed about someone else, my hair was perfect.

So years ago I was in Ho Chi Minh City for three days and it would not stop raining. It was the kind of the daggers in the skull rain that came down in curtain walls. It was torrential, in fact, it was so much like a shower that I swear it was warm as the water that came from the tap. The effect was amazing, you could be totally drenched in five seconds, and it was that very impression that this dickhead photographer from Toronto wanted to get, only I had to be photographed wearing an assortment of wet weather outdoor clothing. Screw that, it was the whole range. The only good side was that the two women who were in the shoot with me had fantastic nipples, and the wetness gave me a nice preliminary view.

Enough of Vietnam, the experiece today was like a Vietnamese rainshower. Ok, wetness has grades, so let's dispense with that... you see like materials will react to the same stimulus mostly all the time. Namely, and I got to fantasizing about this after I got back to the car and found a little note with a squirrely smiley face on it and Amanda's number under my wiper blade just so she was sure I had her number mind you, her little jerky tshirt was interrupted with pin point erect nipples that became more pronounced in the same duration that the boner in my pants became stiffer.

Let me just state that petite women in low cut jeans worn just so you definitely know she's brazilled the entire softspot are quite possibly the most distracting thing in the world. Now it's been a couple of days since I last shot my load, and I think that tool Neil Strauss advocated not jacking off so I'm just sitting her at home reading a script but I can't concentrate because I'm trying to mentally fill in the patch of unkown behind her zipper and I think it's time to call that Eclipse driving bitch to see if her nipples do taste like maple syrup.

I'll be back momentarily... and I promise I'm not going to jerkoff.

2 Comments:

Blogger RipplesInTime said...

LOL!! Nice!

If things fall together that quickly and easily, I'm definitely moving to California.

I've heard the women out there aren't as bitchy as the New York ones.

1:02 PM  
Blogger J said...

argh... New York women, you can have them with their pseudo-intellectual shit all wanting to be Carrie Bradshaw... total bitches.

2:08 PM  

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