Monday, April 24, 2006

Amanda date part 1

I was never sure that the Santa Monica freeway was ever a great idea. I mean you put a million lanes of traffic basically down a sewer route all ending suddenly at the ocean like an exhaust port on a really dirty spaceship, dumping cars and assholes into an overpriced neighbourhood full of crazy people who I think invented the whole LA open season thing.

Then you get Amanda, a typical 9, driving a car that was obviously given to her, three cars ahead of me at 85mph. Driving like a fucking idiot, no blinkers, no brake warning. She's completely oblivious all the other cars around her, except she's quick to wave in the rear vision mirror I think between lipstick checks. Oh yeah, it's all my fault. Except the SM freeway fiasco, some other actor playing the role of town planner did that one.

You know I don't like mitsubishi sportscars, especially when the new model can accelerate faster than my jeep and I'm trying to keep up after two bottles of wine expecting Officer Ponch to pull me over and send me to county. Two bottles of wine, yeah, pinot grigiot and conversation about philosophy that I had to make up or wait until she was drunk enough not to know that I am a vapid know-nothing fool who barely had an education.

Wine bar, somewhere in LA convenient to both of us... she lives in SM btw, I am just gonna put it out there that she was in the valley making porn the other day... a lie, but it makes it more fun. Ok, wine bar, she's early, I'm on time.

Short skirt, tanned trim legs, obviously a spinning class desciple. Are men allowed to be in shitty shape? Without genetics I'd be way out of my depth here, but I'm naturally lean and muscular, my Dad was the Marlboro man so don't have so much a problem. Can a guy get away with being tubby? I don't know, never been there, but I feel sad for some guys. I walked in and saw her right away, brunette, cleavage, legs sticking out all the way the Hawaii, fanfuckingtastic.

She gets off her cellphone and stares right at me, cold dirty look, completely a new experience from our other meeting. She's here on a date dressed to kill and I'm in jeans and a grey tshirt with "marines" on the front. I always dress down, but she's on fire. My brain shifted in neutral, gotta take a couple of steps forward before I can put my ass down.

"This place sucks girl", I stand in front of her, but not directly facing her and look down.

"Excuse me?" she was less recepting than I thought by the tone, pissing her off was going to be fun. The bartender looked up, seemed to recognize me and gave that little wave. I looked up a the bartender, smiled and yelled a quick "hi".

"I'll only have one drink here I want to show you a place that will knock your socks off"

"Oh yeah?", she looked up and I pulled up a chair and sat.

"yeah, that's right, but, do you have good taste, do you like to sometimes indulge?". I stretched out my left leg relaxed a bit more into the chair, this place was not so bad.

"do you know what you're talking about?" The corners of her mouth curled a little and she had that fake stern look women get when they're emulating their mothers.

"Of course, so how was your day, did you do anything exciting?"

I lied about the one drink maximum, we had a couple of glasses of wine each and she filled a good twenty minutes talking about her day shopping.

I ended up going to bathroom, and when I came back out some guy was standing in front of her saying something arbitrary. I walked up behind him and went around him "accidentally" nudging his arm as I passed, kept my back to him, leaned over to took a good sniff of Amanda's hair, which I believe cut him off in mid-sentance. She looked up and I was about to introduce her new friend but I immediately asked.

"You might not remember, but we have dinner plans and I want to show you this great restaurant, hmmm, don't you smell fantastic? Are you ready to go?" I turned around and started walking for the door.

I'm not sure where arbitrary guy #1 vanished to, but I think he was still standing behind me when she grabbed her bag and followed me out to the street.

"I saw your car over there, that's it right?".

"Yes that's it".

"Don't you love your car, how zippy it is?" I slowed down and she caught up with me.

"oh sure, it's great."

"Does the engine growl when you turn it on?"


"Don't you love the sound of the engine?"

"For sure!!!"

I grabbed her hand and walked her to her car, and suggested she wait while I get my car and that she follow me.

I'm out of time just now, but I'll finish this later...


Anonymous Anonymous said...

SM... ok, I am assuming because you're gonna cover this in p2 that you checked the undercarriage, right?

2:59 PM  
Blogger Rubik said...

Good stuff, man. Waiting for part 2!

7:20 PM  

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